What if we were gay
Unlike guilt that can shape a positive change in behavior, fear can be arresting. Fear for your LGBT child can be paralyzing and leads to "what if" thinking. Jonathan L. Tobkes, M.D., co-author of When Your Toddler Is Gay: What You Need To Know, defines fear "as the feeling of doom or apprehension that plagues someone who senses that something horrible is going to happen."
When I found out our son James was male lover, I was frightened for a number of reasons: Would he be made fun of? Would his school listen if I complained? Would he be able to get summer jobs? What about his future? After high educational facility, would he have to live in California, where gays seemed to be accepted? Would his male friends in high institution pull away from him? Would he contract HIV?
No Wonder Parents Fear!
These fears plagued me constantly. All parents fear for their kids in some regard, but parents of LGBT children perhaps have more reason to be scared. According to GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, Straight, Education Network), LGBT children do obtain verbally and physically harassed more than their heterosexual peers.
If an LGBT youth does not feel standard by their family and peers, they are three times more likely to con
The evolutionary puzzle of homosexuality
These figures may not be high enough to sustain genetic traits specific to this group, but the evolutionary biologist Jeremy Yoder points out in a blog post, external that for much of latest history gay people haven't been living openly lgbtq+ lives. Compelled by culture to enter marriages and have children, their reproduction rates may have been higher than they are now.
How many lgbtq+ people have children also depends on how you define being "gay". Many of the "straight" men who have sex with fa'afafine in Samoa proceed on to get married and have children.
"The category of same-sex sexuality becomes very diffuse when you take a multicultural perspective," says Joan Roughgarden, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Hawaii. "If you go to India, you'll find that if someone says they are 'gay' or 'homosexual' then that immediately identifies them as Western. But that doesn't mean there's no homosexuality there."
Similarly in the West, there is evidence that many people go through a phase of homosexual activity. In the 1940s, US sex researcher Alfred K
Clean Lyric
Paragraph Lyric
ROD
Aah, an afternoon alone with
My favorite book, "Broadway
Musicals of the 1940s."
No roommate to bother me.
How could it get any beat than this?
NICKY
Oh,hi Rod!
ROD
Hi Nicky.
NICKY
Hey Rod, you'll never
Guess what happened to
Me on the subway this morning.
This guy was smiling at me and talking to me
ROD
That's very interesting.
NICKY
He was being authentic friendly,
And I think he was coming on to me.
I think he might've thought I was gay!
ROD
Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this?
Why should I care?
I don't care.
What did you own for lunch today?
NICKY
Oh, you don't have to get
All defensive about it, Rod...
ROD
I'm NOT getting defensive!
What do I concern about some male lover guy you met, okay?
I'm trying to read.
NICKY
Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod.
I just believe it's something we should be qualified to talk about.
ROD
I don't want to converse about it,
Nicky! This conversation is over!!!
NICKY
Yeah, but...
ROD
OVER!!!
NICKY
Well, okay, but just so you know â
IF YOU WERE GAY
THAT'D BE OKAY.
I Intend 'CAUSE, HEY,
I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY.
BECAUSE YOU SEE,
IF IT WERE ME,
I WOU
by Fred Penzel, PhD
This article was initially published in the Winter 2007 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
OCD, as we know, is largely about experiencing drastic and unrelenting doubt. It can cause you to doubt even the most basic things about yourself – even your sexual orientation. A 1998 investigation published in the Journal of Sex Research set up that among a organization of 171 college students, 84% reported the occurrence of sexual intrusive thoughts (Byers, et al. 1998). In order to hold doubts about one’s sexual identity, a sufferer dependency not ever have had a homo- or heterosexual experience, or any type of sexual experience at all. I have observed this symptom in juvenile children, adolescents, and adults as well. Interestingly Swedo, et al., 1989, found that approximately 4% of children with OCD experience obsessions concerned with forbidden violent or perverse sexual thoughts.
Although doubts about one’s hold sexual identity might appear pretty straightforward as a symptom, there are actually a number of variations. The most obvious shape is where a sufferer experiences the thought that they might be of a different sexual orientation than they formerly believed. If the su
What If My Fiancé Is Gay?
What If My Fiancé Is Gay?
I'm engaged to a man I care for. I had no worries until two weeks ago, when he confessed that he used to have gay relationships. Why, then, is he attracted to me? What if he decides I'm just not enough?
Used to have? And marriage will modify that? Someone is still counting on the tooth fairy. For most men, a sexualattraction to people of the same gender starts at an in advance age and operates at a very deep level within, probably indelibly.
His feelings for men have nothing to do with you; his sexual orientation is not a measure of your attractiveness or whether you are, or are not, "enough." It's about how his brain is wired. Because it runs counter to the norms of our culture and the expectations of most parents, homosexuality can be hard for some people to accept about themselves; your fiancé is likely one of them.
While you probably now feel deeply unsettled about your future, you should be grateful that your fiancé told you sooner rather than later. He is likely struggling with his own desires, and hoping marriage will magically alter his inner landscape to match the cultural norm. Of course, it does nothing of